My Mom

My Mom passed away on May 6, 2009. I miss her very much. There are many great memories that I have of her and I was privileged to share a couple of those at her funeral. . .

My mom was the best mom anyone could ask for, and she was a wonderful Grandmother. As I think back at my time with her I think of a couple things that I believe really defined her as a person and I’d like to share them with you.
No Argument
One of the special things about growing up in the Efitng household is that my parents never argued - Never. I thought that was normal. When I told people that, they didn’t believe me. They thought my parents just did a good job of keeping it behind closed doors. But I never remembered any tension between them at all. But I wondered if they could be right. Well one day I heard my dad casually walk towards the kitchen and asked my mom if she would like to go car shopping with him. She replied “oh I don’t really feel like going, you know what I am looking for in a car. Why don’t you just go by yourself?” My dad was not happy with that response. He replied “Well I thought I knew what you wanted, but the last time we went out you said you wanted one thing and then didn’t like the car that had it, so I don’t know what you want. Maybe we shouldn’t even get a new car?” So my ears perked up. Do my parents really argue? And I just didn’t realize it? What would my mom’s response be? My mom stopped what she was doing looked straight at my dad and sweetly said “If you really want me to go with you, I’ll go with you.”
It didn’t matter what she was doing, or that she got her way. And I’m not even sure if her motivation was keeping peace, or showing love to my dad. – But my parents didn’t argue, and that is a great gift to give to your children.
Looking out for Others
Over the last few months when my mom could not get out of bed, several families at Heritage Bible church reached out to her. My mom loved music, and she really missed the music from her church, so nearly every Sunday for the last five months they came over after church and sang to her. Sometimes when I was over, I wondered if my mom would pass away during one of the songs and the Angels would just finish the song up in Heaven. Well on of those Sundays my brother and his kids where visiting. The violin and singing were sounding great but something was bothering my mom. Some of the church members came close to Mom, to see what she needed. Was she in pain? Did she want them to sing a different song? No as it turns out she noticed that my brother Andy’s daughters were trying to get into her bathroom and the door appeared to be locked. She wanted someone to unlock the door so that they could get in. It made me think – her whole life she has been serving others. Now at the time that she is sick, she should just relax and enjoy the music. But that is not the way my Mom was.
When I was young she told me the way to have Joy in your life. Was to put Jesus first, others second and then yourself. Jesus, others, you – my Mom lived that way through the last days of her life.

Alina Trusts in the Lord

Several years ago my Dad gave a testimony in church. I don't remember everything that he said but one part of it I will never forget. He mentioned that the fact that he wanted to be a good role model for his kids, kept him living his life for the Lord. My Dad is and always has been the man I have looked up to the most as a Christian. I thought to myself at the time that I actually made a difference in my Dad's life. I always saw him as such a strong Christian that I was amazed that a kid could have a positive effect on a man of his character.

Well about five years ago my daughter had a real positive effect on me. My family was going through a hard time. I had been out of work for almost three months. I started doubting God's ability to work things out in my life. I had even thought about not going to Church anymore, and just living life without thinking about God. But I had not made that decision yet, and we when we came back from church the next Sunday Alina, who was three years old at the time, was all excited about memorizing her first Bible verse. She quoted the last part of Psalm 31:6 "...I trust in the Lord." She said it to me as we were leaving church, and again in the car, and the rest of the day at home. "I trust in the Lord." "I trust in the Lord." "I trust in the Lord." I couldn't get those words out of my head.

You see I thought I knew what God was going to do to get my family out of the situation that we were in, and more importantly I thought I knew what the timing should be. When God did not do what I expected I started doubting Him. I don't know what I was thinking; I had been a Christian for over 30 years at that point. But when I had those doubts God sent my little girl to remind me what I needed to do. So I trusted in the Lord. He provided a job and guided me through many more difficulties since then. But when those problems come I need to remind myself of what Alina kept telling me that day. "Trust in the Lord"